Had to Testify (to myself that is)

This week in a word, "rough"; today in a word, "terrible". A person has so annoyed me the past few days I've found myself thinking about quitting, wanting to curse, wanting to fight, longing to see this person die at Armageddon with my own eyes and the list goes on. I HATE being unable to express my anger, having to take the high road and be the truly "professional" person and not stoop to their level to put them in their place. And in this case, I think Proverbs 26:5 would be required to put this person in their place.

At any rate, after singing a somewhat appropriate 'inappropriate' song on my way to get Ashawna, talking it over with a friend, and trying to decompress, I came home and found myself still annoyed and thinking about this matter while in my shower. (SN: Not terribly strange because I do a lot of thinking in my shower now that I take them in the evenings, lol).

Upon getting out I had to testify (to myself that is), hence the title. I fully realize that I'm getting anxious over nothing. I had to take a moment to listen to my own advice, "Do you know this person? Years from now will they matter to you? So why give any weight to their words?"

Perhaps my fears were centered on possibly losing my job...

So in my mind I testified. My mother would say that this sounds "churchy" but I always admired the passion that some of those Southern churchgoers display when they talk about what 'God has done for me' yelling "God is good!" (refrain: all the time & all the time God is good.) I always missed that passion, however misguided, growing up.

But I digressed. So I had to close my eyes, place my hand on my wall & remind myself of what I have: a roof over my head that I pay for, food, power and water that I also pay for single-handedly. Well not singlehandedly, because Jah has done it all.

NO OTHER WAY a teen mom could come so far. He pulled me through all of the tragedy. He gave me this job that I prayed and blogged and then worked for. I truly believe there is NO WAY I could've gotten this job on my own. And he gave it to me despite my disobedience in reaching out for someone I knew that I could no longer have.

Then I took my hand off the wall. When it all goes away, which I know it will, it doesn't change that he's taken care of me all along and will continue to do so. He promised that whatever I ask for I shall receive. I just have to take my hand and my focus off the physical and current realities and keep it firmly interlaced with his hand.

Odd that this was the first picture to pop up when I searched for something to include in this post; almost seems like someone was helping me out again perhaps.